Slaughtergate

10th Febuary 2007

Man of the Match: Harvey Douglas

Team: A.Lund, M.Green, P.Crang, M.Laing, C.Price, S.Hanley*, O.Fowlston, A.Baldwin, N.Fell, D.Weir, H.Froud, A.Pepperday*, W.Carew-Gibbs, S.Wildbur, Fowlstons Mate*, K.Pike (Capt.), H.Douglas, S.Pike, C.Burden, D.Green, T.Rooke, J.Knowling

* Denotes Guest Player

North Dorset  7 Vs 19  Apple Growers

Tries: Weir, Froud, Crang,

Cons: Fowlston 

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After the cancelled match against Teddington it had been a long time since the Growers emphatic win against Rosslyn Park FC, and the anticipation was high for the match against North Dorset one of the Growers most revered opposition. After a loss last year stakes were high on this cold and grey afternoon.

As the players gathered  – Growers stalwarts such as Fell, Douglas and Lund strode one by one into the North Dorset Clubhouse –  the camaraderie and confidence exuding from the all star line up Weiro had assembled, already had the opposition on the back foot in their own back yard.

The sight of Brian Ashton being interviewed on the T.V. before the England - Italy game brought a smile of recognition to many Growers faces – comments such as “He taught me everything I know” “bloody good coach” and “Bruton was his springboard to success” rang around the clubhouse - but it was with pride that, just as Brian had reached the Pinnacle in his coaching career, the guys had reached theirs in their playing careers – playing for the Growers. 

The two Pikes paying no attention to the small matter on television were out early getting the “hands on ball” familiarity, and as the remainder of the growers strolled out for the warm up the rain started steadily falling.

The strength of the team could be seen from the star studded Growers had on the bench – Price Jnr (Europipe 05/06) and Laing were ready in waiting to add to an already fearsome pack – Whilst Green Jnr, Fell and Pepperday (2^nd cap) could be called upon as proven past match winners for that moment of inspiration in the backs.

Captain Kev’s speak was unusually low key and even included the unthinkable, a joke.

Other Growers match reports have spent pages describing the silky handling, miss moves and Gibbsy’s testicles but unfortunately conditions did not allow the former two come to the fore in any great significance. Gibbsy’s watermelons however were obviously troubling him as he grumbled from scrum to scrum, calming words from concerned team mates were ignored as he began to lash out at all and Sundry – even Greener was putting the ball in the scrum “too straight”.   

The game started brightly for the Growers – (Some said afterwards that this was due to a reduced warm up – thus some Growers still had energy left) - A silky backs passing move with Rookie penetrating more than he had done for a number of months left Weir with the ball a good thirty metres from the oppositions line. Head down with the cries of support from his fiancée (congratulations to both) - Wiero ran for his life.

One by one the North Dorset defenders were left clutching cold air and he had no need for the large number of support runners (who could smell an easy try after assuming his gas would have run out sometime before the 22) to score in the corner.With Nick Price – the Growers “goal kicking machine” on the sidelines it was left to Ollly Fowlston to attempt the conversion – it did get off the ground – but not by much.

Captain Pike issued warnings of over complacency  - and it soon became apparent that this would be no stroll in the Dorset countryside. The North Dorset side were using their size to turn things into a wrestle up front, and the fragile layer of grass on the pitch soon turned into a rain sodden mud bath. This was a day when props come into their own so Kev left his younger brother in the front line of the battle and decided he could marshal his troops better from number 8 (Well he has a son to think about now) – The war of attrition continued until Greener at scrum half, spotted a not too nimble prop occupying the blind side, sold him an almighty dummy (maybe the one Gibbsy had been throwing out the pram all game), and broke through the North Dorset line. There was only the full back to beat, and drawing the man he popped an inside ball to Froudy (sporting sensible shorts and facial hair that one would expect on the drummer of an emerging Indie band) who appearing out of no where made the finish look as easy as the Daily Star Crossword. Fowlston managed to convert  to the amazement of the crowd, one was heard saying -  the last time the Growers got a conversion Knowling had a full head of hair, and things were looking good at 12 – 0 .

The tries however did not flow from this point on, concentration levels dropped and the remainder of the half turned into a stop start affair with the referee’ s whistle rarely leaving his mouth.

Fowlston’s mate after a number of bullish rampages up field suffered a dead leg – to allow Price Jnr an earlier than expected arrival onto the field –after his excellent impression of a giraffe trying to get out of a straight jacket – he managed to get his legs out of the much needed replacement suits and made it on to the pitch 13 minutes later.

A sustained period of attack from North Dorset just before half time may well have proved to be the most important part of the game. North Dorset came to the conclusion that their best hope of scoring was the pick and try and fall over the line although they attempted this continually for 17 minutes. The Growers fringe defence led by Baldwin and Hanley, who had that hungry look in their eyes, the kind Clarky used to have when going through one of his baron spells, was magnificent and the Growers got to half time with their line un-breached. 

Half time gave the Growers time to regroup and for Wiero to re-enact his try,

Pike jnr to complain that he had developed a cauliflower ear due to the number of scrums, and Lundy telling us its always weather like this in Trowbridge. Changes were made Green jnr, Fell, Pepper Spray, Wildbur and Burden all joined the fray at some point during the half and it was not long before they blended in to the muddied battle. All expect Wildbur who however hard he tried could not get his beautifully cleaned shirt (thanks to Pat East) dirty. After much encouragement from the sidelines he decided to ignore the match and rectify the problem by jumping in the muddier parts of the pitch. He was almost caught out however as a promising Growers backs move orchestrated by the impressive Fowlston was working towards his wing, quick thinking saw Si get the ball on the wing and put a delicate chip over the top to chase.

Although this did not lead directly to a try, the Growers had North Dorset firmly entrenched in their 22. From a well worked lineout Perpper Spray span the ball out to Fowlston who switched with Crang – to say there was a bit of work to do would be a understatement. Reminiscent of Scott Gibbs late try to deny England a grand slam in he weaved, sidestepped and gracefully touched down to seal the victory. Fowlston continued his amazing run of goal kicking to slot the conversion – this kicking lark is easy.

All subs were on now except for Marco – who in his usual unflappable way had lost his gum shield and refused to go on until found, this could have been after watching Green Snr walk off the pitch with a gaping hole in his mouth – but all was ok as he explained it was only a plastic tooth anyway. 

After winding up the Referee one too many times Gibbsy and his testicles got their marching orders and a yellow card was produced (the first in Growers History) Gibbsy stood in disbelief as the ref told him to 'have ten' to rearrange his testicles where they would not cause so much grief to him and everyone else. The sorry sodden figure stomped off to sit cross legged at the end of the pitch.The WAG’s who had braved the elements in numbers to watch their sporting heroes gave disapproving mutterings of such behaviour whilst they looked down their noses at poor Southy – who despite claiming it was not up to her to discipline her man was left to watch the rest of the game in solitude.

The Growers bored of North Dorset attacking ploy’s which had become more predicable than a episode of Neighbours, graciously let the hosts score in the latter stages of the game to guarantee next years fixture, but as the final whistle blew everyone accepted that the Growers thoroughly deserved their hard fought victory.

The Forwards must be commended for an energy sapping game involving 312 scrums, 671 Rucks and 114 Mauls, and Harvey Douglas epitomised this with a man of the match performance.

Thanks must go to all supporters and Keast, there to oversee proceedings from on high and making sure no one else attempted to sell any more Growers kit after Dunner’s impromptu email earlier in the week offering to sell the shirts. (I know money is tight but………)

Goods teams learn to win ugly when they are not playing at their best and this will certainly not go down as a “vintage” Growers performance. The unbeaten season heads to a climax against London Cornish. All hope for a drier day for the Growers who can’t wait to play some of the more enterprising rugby they are renowned for.

MG