Back Row: R.Burden, A.Baldwin, P.Crang, S.Pike, W.Pitt, W.Crawshaw, M.Laing, J.Knowling, C.Price, A.Soskin, E.Thomas, W.Britten

Front Row: C.Pratt, A.Lund, D.Green, N.Price, W.Carew-Gibbs, O.East, D.Weir (capt.), K.Pike, J.Burrage

 AGSC caps awarded to: S.Drake, M.Biles, J.Booth, B.Appleton, L.Clark

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Apple Growers  53  Vs   14  The Hornets

Tries: E Thomas, K Pike, P Crang, A Lund, C Pratt, W Crawshaw, J Burrage, W Carrew-Gibbs x2

Cons: A Lund x3,N.Price

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Due to the fact that the writer can not remember the details of the game with any reference to the chronology of the match, the report will have to be an accurate, honest and sometimes uncomfortable read of individual player performances.

1993 was the last time an old boys team played on the hallow turf of Hyde. For some, the memories of the Old Boys match against the 1^st XV was nothing but a hazy vision 15 ogres fresh from a 24 hour drinking binge in The Oak smashing the 1sts in every sense of the word. It was no wonder it was such a disappointment to all that the fixture was cancelled for good.

One thing that had definitely been forgotten by most was the green carpet that Adi Davis produces for a pitch. For many of the Growers their rugby careers have not prospered as they once thought. Youthful aspirations of running out at Twickenham for England or The Rec for Bath have dwindled into realms of fantasy and in reality the majority are sporadically turning out for local clubs around the country on converted cow fields where drowning in mud, falling in pot holes and intoxicariosis are a constant concern. The Growers pay homage to the king of all thing grass, Adi. After mowing duty was over he was on his way to the butchers for the Sunday joint and an afternoon in front of the box. Once he was told the Pike brothers were in the front row he immediately changed his plans to accommodate the game. He was joined by pupils, old boys and girls, parents and teachers who formed the 80 strong crowd who had gathered for the showpiece.

The pre match warm up contained the usual banter of questioning Price Snr’s sexuality and Marco’s lastest bedroom exploits. For the backs it was a quick run through the customary moves just to fine-tune their timing and moisturise their hands. Much to the amusement of the backs, the forwards were given the full work out with Sergeant Major Laing putting them through their paces. By the time they finished their shuttles runs and star jumps Knowling looked like he had just finished an 24 hour Australian interstate iron man contest. He was definitely going to need the first half on the bench to regain some energy.

The Growers huddled in the extra small changing room 5 minutes before kick off evoking memories of yonder where many a captain over the years has had to rally his troops before the battle. A few choice words from Pike Snr with various references to dolphins and dovecots and a wry smile from Thommo Jnr was all that was needed before skipper Weir led his team out. Other than Lundy and Gibbsys’ constant disregard for the Grower’s dress code wearing red shorts and green socks, fewer teams have appeared from the pavilion looking so smart in their new kit, getting its first outing on home soil. Laundry Coordinator Pat East had done a magnificent job washing the shirts ready for the game triggering the usual pre match rugby changing room chat about how soft the shirts were and what fabric softener had been used to reach such high quality results.

At 2.30pm the Ref got the game underway looking resplendent in his 2005 Lions Jersey and black trainers. It wasn’t long before the Growers got into their stride throwing the ball around in a care free barbarian style creating a high tempo game that The Hornets and the less fit members of the Growers just couldn’t keep up with.

The Forwards

The back row, as always, hunted the ball like a hungry pack of wolves. Baldwin and Pratty were busy stealing ball and tackling furious looking for any scraps. When these two are on song there are few better. Baldwin’s eagerness and success on the field was a surprise for his team mates who had to endure his moaning about the drive from Southampton just to play, questioning whether he actually wanted to be at Bruton at all. It was quickly pointed out to him that Aitken had done a 1000 mile trip just to come and watch and the majority had driven from London for the day. Happy with the Grower’s sixth successive victory, he plodded off with out paying his match fee back to Basingstoke for a night on the beat. Pratt on the other hand was late (what’s new) got knocked out, but seemed perfectly normal at the final whistle congratulating everyone on another good win against Bryanston Old Boys.

The reserve flankers, Jim ‘my body is a temple’ Knowling, Dan Britten and Burdy are worthy of a place in any team featured on the spanking new fixture cards, apart from the Hampshire Hogs CC. Anyone who has witnessed Knowling in a cricket helmet will know he looks more like a red Mr Potato Head in a crash helmet than a Hogs middle order batsman ready to masterfully steer an innings home. Never-the-less his presence on the field will always guarantee a few huge hits on opposition that get the spectators cheering and his team mates appreciating that he is on their side. It was good to have Burdy back in the fold, eventually, when he finally arrived, and Britto made a successful and long awaited debut.

Marco (who had the farrier in early Saturday morning to attend to his hooves for a quick shoe change for the good to firm surface) is growing into his no.8 role marshalling the pack. It is a constant joke amongst the backs that he considers himself a winger when he struggles to pick up the ball cleanly at the base of a scrum. There is, however, no doubt that he is a considerable presence amongst the donkeys up front.

Talking of donkeys, Charlie Price (Player of the Season 04/05, Europipe winner 2005) had another solid game dominating the lineout and catching the ball from their kick off before it had started its decent. It is fair to say Charlie operates at a higher level than the rest of his team mates, if you were 9 foot 2 you would do too. He has formed a good partnership in the engine room with the raging bull that is Ollie East. After 43 phone calls to Marco and Weiro on Saturday morning checking on the organisation for the day it was quite clear he was ready for action and didn’t disappoint.

That only leaves the front row. Without a doubt the manliest men on the pitch. Large, often hairy, beer swilling carnivores that can and will smash anything in their path. Revelling in the violence inherent in the scrum, they are rarely considered "nice" people, and in fact to some they aren't even considered humans at all. Front rowers tolerate this attitude far and wide because they recognize their role at the top of the food chain and are used to suffering the fools that surround them. Accused by some of simply being dumb, they prefer to think of themselves as "open to unconventional ways of thinking." The Growers front row are no exception to the rule. The Pike brothers, bred in the depths of Wiltshire, make a formidable paring. Pike Snr gave a Man of the Match performance. Often found lingering amongst the backs, he would claim it was tactical but others would say he just couldn’t make the break down, he made several devastating runs and was a constant threat to the Hornet’s defence. Its customary these days for Gibbsy to ignore overlaps choosing to go the direct approach to the try line trampling over the top of some poor defender like a challenger tank; a technique he has perfected after watching Jonah Lomu’s coaching video entitled ‘Passing’s for Wimps’ featuring Mike Catt and Tony Underwood. Sosko, the junior member of the front row alliance is learning his trade from his senior counterparts. It won’t be long before he sports a Gibbsy style hair do and a number of Pike moulded false teeth and a talk with a broad Wiltshire accent.

The Backs

Dave Green is proving his versatility having played in 3 different positions in 2 halves of rugby and it was a shame to see only half a game from him. Unlike Thommo who believes a game of rugby only lasts 40 minutes (or 35 minutes if you go by the Milton Abbey rules) Dave was itching to get back on but the return to the field was ruled out by skipper Weir and the 2003 captain of cricket, captain of rugby, captain of hockey, head of house, head groundsman, head of extra testicular activity was left to his ambassador role chatting to his old friends (or teachers to the rest of us). Pitty, more accustomed to the sloping pitch in his school days, came on in the second half with the luxury of knowing the win was in the bag. When he finally managed to dig the ball out of the bottom of rucks his crisp pass did not look out of place on the 1^st XV pitch.

Pricey Snr had another good game but by his own high standards it was not a Pricey classic performance. For those playing outside him there was argument to suggest he was having some sort of relationship with the ball as he was unwilling to share it around and with his track record with inflatable partners who was to think otherwise. Another successful partnership he has developed is with inside centre Ali Lund. Pricey was heard saying in The Castle after the game that Lundy’s composure, power and pace with the ball his hands is refreshingly attractive for a man so ginger but that his performance had left a sour taste in his mouth afterwards because of his dress. The management committee were in complete agreement on this one. Red shorts and socks are not acceptable. Lundy was consequently given a 10 month ban. We are pleased to report that Lundy has accepted the ban and will not be appealing. He has chosen to spend the 10 months in New Zealand honing his ball skills ready for his return with Pricey. With Pricey’s “shoulder” operation imminent and Lundy’s ban, the Growers will be left with a huge hole to fill. Both players were close to winning Player of the Season and a thrusting no.10 with a ginger side kick just don’t run off the Bruton rugby conveyor belt.

Top try scorer last season, Weiro, not for the first time fired a blank. He managed to contribute nothing memorable for the whole game. All the same he went home happy in the knowledge that his fine leadership had inspired another great victory and continues his unbeaten run as skipper until he passes the mantle on at the end of the season. Cranger, after being released in the centre after doing some time on L Wing proved once again that the diminishing hair line was not diminishing his array of strengths on offer breaking the defence several times with powerful runs and was rewarded with a well deserved try. The Hornet’s defence had more holes in it than Swiss cheese so Crawsh on the wing had little chance of touching the ball what with Pricey’s new relationship and everyone else making breaks but he made a few runs down the wing proving he had two working legs which meets the criteria to ensure future selection. Burrage returned to his preferred position of full back making several great cover tackles and cleverly made sure that The Hornets scored two token tries which is the correct etiquette in friendlies and should enable the fixture to continue.

Tea

A good sandwich selection clearly encouraged the mutual appreciation that was displayed by the Growers management, the OBA and the school. Compliments fired back and forth between the parties. No sooner had match manager Campbell collected all the match fees than Ollie East had been awarded a 1^st XV shirt and Weiro had given the school the Jersey RFC plaque from the recent tour. It was all too much for Marco who became confused amongst all the niceties and was actively looking for volunteers to match manage the next fixture claiming Gibbsy was going to be in Iceland. Once it was explained to him that he meant the frozen foods supermarket he decided it best to make a hasty exit to the North. A good day was finished off with a few ciders in The Castle, a small speech from Ollie and a Man of the Match Award to Pikey Snr who has cleary married well as his aussie wife decided to do the drinking fine with him.

DPW